Somebody Had To Stop Them
Naming a car seems easy until you remember that thousands of people have to walk into dealerships and say the name out loud with a straight face. A few of these are so bad they make you wonder whether the meeting ended because everyone agreed...or because it was lunchtime.
Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
The Silver Shadow is one of those names that sounds expensive before you've even seen the car. Rolls-Royce originally anticipated calling it the Silver Mist. Small problem: in German, “Mist” can mean manure or rubbish. Not exactly the image you want attached to a Rolls-Royce. Silver Shadow suddenly sounded much better.
Alexander Migl, Wikimedia Commons
Plymouth Barracuda
Before the Barracuda became one of Plymouth's most memorable names, Chrysler executives reportedly liked something considerably cuddlier: Panda. Designer John Samsen recalled that the design team pushed back hard. Good call. The Plymouth Barracuda sounds ready to chase a Mustang. The Plymouth Panda sounds ready to eat bamboo at the zoo.
Matti Blume, Wikimedia Commons
Dodge Dart
Dodge planners already liked the name Dart, but Chrysler commissioned a market study anyway. One of the names that emerged was...Zipp. Yes, Dodge Zipp. Executives ultimately rejected it and returned to Dart, proving that occasionally the best result of market research is realizing you already had the better answer.
JOHN LLOYD from Concrete, Washington, United States, Wikimedia Commons
Ford Thunderbird
Ford considered roughly 5,000 names while developing the original Thunderbird, including Detroiter, Runabout, Savile...and Beaver. Eventually Thunderbird appeared and made nearly everything else look ridiculous. Imagine someone today bragging that Grandpa left them his pristine 1955 Ford Beaver. That's a very different conversation.
Ford Mustang
Before Mustang became Mustang, Ford kicked around names including Cougar, Torino, Avanti, and Allegro. Cougar actually would've worked. Torino eventually found a perfectly good home elsewhere. Allegro? That's harder to imagine. “I drive a Mustang” has a certain swagger. “Come outside and check out my new Allegro” sounds like you bought a keyboard.
Kroelleboelle, Wikimedia Commons
Chevrolet Camaro
The Camaro naming process produced some perfectly reasonable ideas, including Panther, which became a serious development name. Among the stranger possibilities floated was GeMini, styled with that very noticeable capital M. Commander and Wildcat were also tossed around before Camaro finally won out. Somewhere in another universe, people are still arguing Mustang versus GeMini.
More Cars from Berlin, Germany, Wikimedia Commons
Ford Fiesta
Ford's early naming list for its new little hatchback included Pony, Sierra, Amigo...and Bambi. Just picture the badge. The Ford Bambi. It's adorable, but that's probably not what you want customers thinking as you explain handling, fuel economy, and horsepower. The final choice came down to Bravo, Amigo, and Fiesta. Henry Ford II chose Fiesta. Thank you, Henry.
Ford Edsel
Ford wasn't actually seconds away from approving this one, but we can't leave it out. The company asked Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Marianne Moore to suggest names for the project that became Edsel. Her ideas included Mongoose Civique, Intelligent Whale, Resilient Bullet, and the magnificent Utopian Turtletop. Suddenly “Edsel” doesn't seem so strange.
Greg Gjerdingen, Wikimedia Commons
Chevrolet Corvette
Corvair was among the names considered for Chevrolet's new sports car, and some histories say it had actually been selected before Chevrolet PR man Myron Scott suggested Corvette. The name referred to a small, maneuverable warship. Corvair eventually resurfaced on a completely different Chevrolet. Corvette? Yeah, they made the right call.
Mustang Joe, Wikimedia Commons
Datsun 240Z
Japanese buyers really did get the Fairlady Z. Nissan's U.S. operation didn't think that name would have quite the same effect in America, so the car became the Datsun 240Z here. Nissan executive Yutaka Katayama pushed hard for the change. Fairlady Z has its charm. But “240Z” sounds like something you want to drive fast.
Fiat Panda
Before the original Fiat Panda received its wonderfully simple animal name, the project was provisionally known as Rustica. That's not exactly the most reassuring badge for a basic Italian economy car from that era. Fiat eventually landed on Panda shortly before launch, and one of automotive history's most endearing little cars escaped being called the Rustica.
2003 Fiat Panda
More than two decades later, Fiat nearly did it again. The replacement for the Panda was actually unveiled publicly as the Fiat Gingo. Then concerns emerged about its similarity to another automaker's existing model name, and Fiat reversed course before sales began. The old Panda name returned. Sometimes recycling really is the responsible choice.
Rudolf Stricker, Wikimedia Commons
Tata Tiago
Tata's small hatchback was promoted as the Zica, short for “Zippy Car.” Then the Zika virus outbreak became an international health emergency at exactly the wrong time. Tata understandably announced a rename and ultimately chose Tiago. There probably aren't many faster ways for a perfectly innocent car name to become completely unusable.
Hyundai Kona
Kona sounds perfectly normal in English. In Portugal, not so much. The name sounds essentially identical to an extremely vulgar Portuguese word, which is why Hyundai marketed the crossover there as the Kauai instead. Somewhere along the way, somebody at Hyundai learned an important lesson: run the new badge past the international offices first.
Alexander Migl, Wikimedia Commons
Buick LaCrosse
GM learned a similar lesson with the Buick LaCrosse. The name sounded uncomfortably close to a vulgar expression in Quebec French, so Canadian buyers initially got the Buick Allure instead. GM eventually returned to the LaCrosse name in Canada, but not before turning an innocent Buick into one terrific marketing-department story.
JustAnotherCarDesigner, Wikimedia Commons
Mitsubishi Pajero
Mitsubishi's Pajero was named after a wild cat, which sounds rugged enough. Unfortunately, “pajero” also has an extremely crude meaning in Spanish. Mitsubishi wisely used Montero in Spain and several other markets. It's one thing for a vehicle name to sound silly. It's another when the salesman would really rather not translate it for you.
Dinkun Chen, Wikimedia Commons
Toyota MR2
Toyota's MR2 is short, clean, and appropriately technical for a little mid-engine sports car. Unfortunately, say “MR2” quickly in French and it sounds uncomfortably close to merde. When the second-generation car arrived in France around 1990, Toyota wisely dropped the “2” and marketed it simply as the MR. Fair enough.
Ford Escape
While Ford was naming its new SUV, marketing manager Leo Williams seriously proposed spelling Escape as “Excape.” The idea was to make it fit nicely beside Explorer, Expedition, and Excursion. His bosses pointed out one fairly significant problem: Excape wasn't actually a word. For once, corporate resistance to creativity worked beautifully.
Ethan Llamas, Wikimedia Commons
Dodge Viper
Before Dodge landed on Viper, the team kicked around other snake-themed possibilities. One of them was Cottonmouth. That's technically a perfectly intimidating snake, but Dodge Cottonmouth doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. Viper sounds quick, sharp, and dangerous. Cottonmouth sounds like something your dentist asks whether you've been experiencing lately.
Pontiac Fiero
Pontiac cycled through plenty of possible names for its new mid-engine sports car, including Fiamma, Sunfire, Pegasus...and Hummingbird. Pegasus became an early favorite and even inspired the winged-horse emblem that survived on the finished car. Hummingbird wasn't quite as lucky. The Pontiac Hummingbird sounds considerably less intimidating at a stoplight.
Tobias ToMar Maier, Wikimedia Commons
Sometimes The Badge Really Matters
Most of these cars probably would've driven exactly the same with the bad name stuck to the trunk. Although, honestly, it's hard to imagine anyone looking quite as cool cruising around in a 1955 Ford Beaver.
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